I really should have said "semi-helpful” tip--actually just enough tip to scrape by with in the most-used circumstances. It's about this business of lie and lay. You see, it's easy when you think of it as a matter of Eggs.

Chickens LAY eggs. But I LIE down. Your friends LIE down. Your mother LIES down. And even that no-good uncle LIES down. The thing to remember here is that the only critter that LAYS is the chicken—and it lays something from inside itself to outside of itself--eggs. (I really don't think you'd want to do that, now would you?

You do not lay eggs. Probably no one in your immediate circle of acquaintances lays eggs. So, if you, your family or friends want to take a nap or read, they do not lay down to lay eggs, they all LIE down. In fact, they may be LYING all over the place, chatting, even as they're telling the truth.

However—and here's where it gets sticky—if any one of you puts yourself somewhere, as on the couch or on the table or in the hammock, you LAY yourself there. You LAY a book on the shelf. I am LAYING the book on the shelf. LAY the money on the counter, would you please? You and I are LAYING the money on the counter.

We're living in the Now here. If we move to the future, everything changes. Those of you who prefer Living In The Now may shudder at the idea of scrolling down further. I wouldn't blame you. Perhaps after a good meal you'll be up to the challenge.

Here goes: If I took a nap YESTERDAY, I LAY down yesterday for a nap. Everyone w

ho wanted to take a rest LAY down last Sunday for a nap.

But before we all did, we LAID the book on the table, we LAID the money on the counter, and we LAID our papers on the table. Odd, isn't it?

To summarize: People: RIGHT NOW we LIE down, and we ARE LYING down now, but YESTERDAY we LAY down.

Objects/Things: TODAY we LAY the book down, and I am LAYING it down here, but YESTERDAY we LAID it down somewhere and now we can't find it.

Further than this we will not venture. Take three deep breaths and go have a beer.

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