A couple of years ago, I sat down in my hair stylist's chair and told her to cut off most of my hair. When she decided she could not talk me out of it, she gave in to my request.

For a while, I liked having super short hair. It was fun, easy and different. Eventually, I decided that I wanted long hair again but assumed that I would never have the patience to let it grow out. During my last visit with my hair stylist, I expressed my frustration over how long it was taking my hair to grow out to the length I desired. In a stern voice, she told me, "the best way to get your hair to grow is to stop cutting it!" Her words seemed to go right to the center of my heart. We both laughed about the logic in her statement. As I left, I gave her a longer hug than usual because I knew I would not be seeing her again for a while.

I did not realize that I had entered into a dance of self sabotage with myself regarding letting my hair grow until my hair stylist inadvertently made it so crystal clear. Of course it made sense to avoid scissors if I wanted long hair! Even so, I was getting my hair cut once every two months. Where was the logic in that? I had to ask myself, if I sabotage myself in such a trivial part of my life, where else do I become my own worst enemy when I am striving to meet the goals and desires of my heart?

Self sabotage occurs to those of us who wrestle with fear of failure, fear of success or a sense of unworthiness. At times, we are all likely to experience at least one of these traits. Self sabotage has endless shapes and forms and can also be very sneaky. Most of the time, we have no idea how skilled we are at limitin

g our success. What does self sabotage look like? A few possibilities are negativity, perfectionism, procrastination, not following your intuition or refusing to allow yourself permission to take advantage of an amazing opportunity that your heart is telling you to go for.

The first step toward ending self sabotage is Awareness. Get conscious about where you might be sabotaging your dreams and visions for your life. If you are not moving forward in the direction of your goals, ask yourself how you can get out of your own way. If you don't know the answer, ask someone close to you to give you some objective insights or feedback about some of your choices. Let your gut instinct take over. You know who you need, what you need and when you need it. Stop depriving yourself! Open up your heart to receive support from yourself, those around and from the unlimited supply of miracles that have a way of falling into your life exactly when they are needed.

(c) 2006 Beverly Keaton Smith

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