Part of reaching beyond your limitations to your success is asking yourself questions that will help you identify your limitations, so that you can reach beyond. Some of us are not aware of what we are even saying to ourselves. What are you saying?! Your self talk can limit you, empower you or elevate you. It is your choice. You can develop another self-talk language; one that empowers or elevates you, one that replaces the voice of limitations. Often times, those of us that have "arrived” or have achieved tremendous success in our lives are not aware of the limiting voice that is hindering us or slowing our pace to help us get to that next level. Your next level could be that you are an executive but realize you need to spend more time with your family. It could be that you want to pursue a new career. It could be that you want to enhance your relationship with God. Whatever the case, What Are You Saying?! Inevitably, what you are saying to yourself, starts with what you are thinking. However, do you listen to what I call your self- talk conversation?

Do you call yourself stupid when you make a mistake? Are you constantly giving other people accolades but not allowing yourself to receive any? Do you tell yourself that it is too hard even before you start? Do you tell yourself that the way you are treating people is fine (even though many people are saying it is negative), because they don't understand? Do you tell yourself why the continuous negative interaction you are receiving in your relationship is justified? What Are You Saying?! Here are a few points that will help you with your self- talk conversation.

First understand that self-talk is not about saying what "feels” good to you. There is no healing, or growth in this type of conversation. The self-talk that you want to develop is open, honest, truthful, and empowering. Pay attention to what you are receiving. (What you listen to, watch, read. Who you associate with.) Is it or are they enhancing you, healing you, or empowering you? Now pay attention to what you are saying to yourself when you are in negative situations; positive situations, compromising situations; situations that have you backed in a corner. What is the difference with your self-talk conversation? (Your self-talk in your negative or compromising situations reveals what you really think and feel about yourself) Speak something positive into your spirit each day (preferab

ly before you start your day). If you have a problem telling yourself positive things, start with just one each morning. Eventually build your list up to ten. We all deserve good things and an honest, successful life. Discover why you deserve one, and how you can achieve success in an honest and positive way. Then develop a self-talk conversation to encourage yourself every step of the way. Be honest with yourself, and allow yourself to also recognize your weaknesses. (Healing helps you to reach beyond your limitations). Allow yourself to recognize one thing that you do that is wrong. Acknowledge it, decide what you are going to do to rectify it, and then develop a positive self-talk language or conversation to help you stop doing it. (Don't get stuck in this negative place-it's not healthy). Recognize that your self-talk should not continuously or frequently include conversation that is derogatory towards others (so that you can elevate yourself). That is not healthy for you and eventually for the people around you. Finally (I repeat) your self-talk language or conversation should be open, honest, truthful, and empowering.

At first developing or redefining your self-talk may be painful or seem ridiculous, but over time you will reap tremendous rewards in the way you perceive yourself, your relationships, your career, your life!

Copyright (c) 2006. Clestine I. Herbert.

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