"Before you know what kindness really is you must lose things, feel the future dissolve in a moment like salt in a weakened broth. What you counted and carefully saved, all this must go so you know how desolate the landscape can be between the regions of kindness." - Naomi Shihab Nye

One of the major characteristics I see with women - especially mothers - is the generosity and kindness given to every one else but themselves. It is standard for them to pack everyone else's lunch and then skip their own. They will forgive their children anything but relentlessly and unforgivingly criticize every little mistake and lack of judgement of their own. They will go without sleep so they can support a friend. And abandon their dreams in favor of making sure their significant other or children get what they want.

The main difficulty with this approach is that it is a huge energy gobbler. If you fixate on your bad choices and mistakes and fail to make the time to give yourself attention and kindness, you give your energy to tension, stress, and dissatisfaction.

Every time we fail to give loving kindness to ourselves in the same measure that we give to others - or more - the emotions of guilt, anger, doubt, and fear become like black holes sucking up our energy for life. This can leave you empty and spent.

By learning to be kind to ourselves first, we enter the experience of the greatness of who we are. Because we are intimately connected to everyone else, when we truly experience the greatness of ourselves we can not help but respect, honor and be naturally loving and kind to all others. When we are kind to ourselves, we allow our selves and our life to reconnect to its natural purpose - happiness. And happiness pulls you forward.

Ways to be kind to yourself:

*Write down the kind and compassionate things you did today and hold yourself in reverence for those acts of kindness and compassion.

*When you do something kind for another do something kind for yourself.

*Pledge time to your own self care - and really take that time for yourself.

*Before you go to bed truly forgive yourself for any mistake,

*Develop and practice loving kindness meditation for yourself. The simplest example of this is to spend some time each day bringing your attention, focus and concentration to those things you wish for yourself. Not in a desperate attempt to make them happen, but in a kind, loving embrace of your needs and wants.

As you nurture your loving kindness to yourself, you will fan the flames of kindness and compassion which will flourish and grow - creating an upward, energy giving spiral of positive emotions.

"Too often we under estimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around." -Leo Buscaglia

Have you been kind to yourself today?

If you are tired, have you rested?

If you have made a mistake, have you forgiven yourself?

Have you wished yourself well today- unconditionally?

Have you congratulated yourself for just showing up?

Have you done something special for yourself today?

If you did not answer yes to every question take a leap and begin developing kindness toward yourself. It might be scary at first but will prove to be worth the journey.