As a hypnotherapist I specialise in helping people to develop confidence and self esteem.

But what is confidence? How do you achieve high levels of this seemingly inbuilt quality?

One clue lies in an experience common to us all. It is the experience of moving jobs. Can you recall the feeling of freedom you have when you start a new job? Okay, perhaps it's a little nerve-wracking too, but there's a feeling of liberation with a new start.

Why is this? Well, in part it's because you have no reputation in a new role. No good reputation, no bad reputation. The people around you don't have any means of assessing your status except the signals you put out.

We all transmit status signals. Every waking second. And these are hard to change, not least because the status signals you transmit are acted on by the people around you. Everybody you interact with is subconsciously receiving and interpreting the signals you're putting out, and responding accordingly. So if you're a middle status individual (let's keep this simple) and you meet a high status person, you will experience tension if you try to resist their will. And if you happen to meet a low status person, you'll find it easy to impose your will on them.

In a new situation, some of this information is missing, so the people around you are more open, more cautious. They haven't pigeonholed you yet.

I said this was a clue, and it's a clue to the most important change any of us can make : the transition towards higher self confidence. Each one of us has the capability to rewrite those unconscious status signals,

but we have to do it from within, and we have to be persistent. Persistence matters, because our social interactions work to lock us in to our current social status. It takes real effort to break out, but it can be done, because life is change. Life is change.

Vey few people achieve significant improvement in self confidence on their own. Most need some help - from a confidence coach, a hypnotherapist or from a support group. But we can all become more self confident, and with this, we can learn greater flexibility in dealing with people according to their needs rather than their social status. It is one of life's tragedies that we have so little innate ability to ignore social status. With confidence comes choice, and part of that choice is the ability to deal with people more evenly, to show greater respect for all - even life's losers - and ultimately to act with greater personal integrity and honour. I believe that these are benefits worth working for.

That is why I helped to found Confidence Club - http://www.confidenceclub.net - and why I work in the field of confidence coaching.

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