Most people are horrible at knowing what you are thinking at any given moment. That's because a direct line of communication is needed to transfer those thoughts clearly and accurately to the other person, hence it's the main reason why we have so many problems with miscommunication. On the other hand, people are very good at knowing how you are feeling by picking up on your verbal and non-verbal cues. People are very attuned to these subtle differences and it's something that is very difficult to hide. If I was upset at a friend and I told her, "I'm fine,” she would know that I was not in fact in a good mood, but in a bad one just by my vocal intonations and my body language. I projected, what I call "negative energy” in her direction.

The point of this is that when we are talking to a person, we tend to focus on the word selection that will best persuade them to act the way we desire, but in fact, word selection has less to do with actual persuasion than the way it is presented. Even the best word choice possible is not going to persuade someone to buy from you, or persuade that girl to date you, because you are exuding negative energy in the form of anxiety or stress. This negative energy also has a persuasive power of its own. If you exude nervousness or anxiety, then your negative energy will also persuade the other person to also share in that anxiety or stress, which will not help your situation.

Law of Persuasion: People Will See You The Way You See Yourself

Shy people know that they always seem to miss out on the good things because they never take initiative, or when they do, they do it half-assed. In order to persuade you have to first convince yourself that you are confident. This is the first most crucial step in persuasion—persuading yourself first. If you cannot persuade yourself that something can be done, then there is no point in trying to convince someone else of the same thing because your energy is going to persuade them in the direction that you are thinking. You must change that mindset—change that energy to guide them in the direction that you want.

Building Your "War Cry”

Before you even talk to the other person, you are going to have to mentally prepare yourself to take on the challenge of exuding confidence. This requires

giving your confidence level an adrenaline boost. How do you do this? A simple technique that you can use is to give yourself a War Cry before you charge into the situation. A War Cry is what I refer to as something you say in your mind to prepare yourself for combat. Professional athletes, soldiers, negotiators and other professionals use this technique quite frequently to "psych” themselves up before the big game. It's no different in your case. A War Cry has to be something very unique to you. The purpose of it is to instill strength and courage into your spirit. A War Cry should make you feel invincible for a short period of time. No one can hurt you. Some people use battle cries like, "Ok, let's go,” "Win 'em over,” "Engage.” The motto has to be something that works for you. But every time you go into a situation where you feel your confidence is slipping, repeat your slogan to yourself before you enter into the situation.

Keypoints

* People can feel your energy, even if you try to hide it.

* Your energy, whether positive or negative, will influence the other person.

* The first step towards persuasion is being able to convince yourself of the intended outcome.

* Build yourself a "War Cry” to boost your confidence before engaging a situation.

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