Valentine's Day. This can feel glorious, or very painful. Everywhere are hearts and flowers, and if we don't feel particularly loving to the partner we have, or if we feel lonely without a partner, we'd rather wait it out somewhere.

Whatever your attitude about Valentine's Day - as something created especially for retailers of gifts, or as a well structured program to get men to step up to romance - here's the truth: Men like to give girls presents.

That's it. They do. So if we're between men, or we don't particularly like our man this week, the big question is - what do we really want for Valentine's Day?

We could approach it from a few angles. One, give ourselves something lovely. A spa treatment, a day of maid service, that frivolous trinket or object d'art we've been looking at, a day at the movies. This would be a good time to get a manicure. This would be a good time to treat ourselves like queens and take a break, for heaven's sake, for love of ourselves.

Two, this would be a good day to make a commitment to Relationship. We could simply step back and let all this Valentine's stuff wash over us - in other words, let the media and the retailers gift us by sending out all these vibrations about love. We could bask in Valentine's Day window dressing, in all the teddy bears holding hearts, in all the commercials for jewelry.

Instead of going with thinking miserly and resentful, and maybe even feeling miserable and sorry for ourselves, we could go the other route: Bless this Valentine's Day. It's for you. It's for me. It's the beginning of a new life of love. It's a marker. The end of reaching out and the beginning of reeling in. The end of pushing away and the beginning of inviting in. The end of control and the beginning of surrender.

A void doesn't feel good. So we try to fill it up. If you're lonely - if the other side of the bed is empty or filled by someone you're not sure you love anymore, or who's making you feel defensive and uneasy - stop trying not to notice the big, gaping hole where you want passion and romance to be. Notice it. Go there. Let yourself by lonely and miserable for a moment. Don't be afraid.

Feeling something "negative” is not the same as dwelling on it. Feeling it and going through it is not the same as complaining, justifying, blaming the emptiness on someone else (here the creators of Valentine's Day) or lying in bed all day with the covers pulled over your head. Feeling and going through pain gets you to the other side very quickly.

Resisting feeling the pain gets you nowhere. We are stuck not because we feel bad, but because we are doing everything in our power not to feel bad, and that feels even worse.

Try something different. Instead of thinking of Valentine's Day as something awful to get through, try Blessing it. Bless all those who have love. Every couple you see walking arm and arm down the street does not diminish your chances of enjoying the same, they actually inc

rease your chances of enjoying the same! Yes, really, lovers goose your possibilities. Just the fact that they are wandering around right in front of you tells you that you are bringing in love! Love breeds love. You are not the exception. You are the rule. Love in your vicinity is contagious. Watch what the lovers are doing. Instead of going with jealousy, or the old habit of looking at what you have or don't have and wondering if you ever will, and going to the same, habitual dark places - watch them!

Look at the commercials! See what these folks are doing. See what the women who have a nice man with them are doing. We most always just look at what that woman looks like. Oh, we think - she's pretty, she's thin, of course that hottie chased her down. And then we see a woman with a lot of curves walking in the embrace of a cute, buff guy, and we wonder - how did she get him? And we come up with several explanations - all of which avoid the CoachRori obvious, that he simply likes her! And we can't possibly ever guess what it is about her that he's attracted to. That's between him and him, and chances are even she doesn't know. Bless any woman who has knowingly or unknowingly kept love flowing.

Keep your eyes open. Use Valentine's Day as a tutorial. If you're single and you want a romantic partner, go look at rings and pick out what you like. Feng Shui your bedroom. Cut out paper hearts, go to a singles party and flirt, or stay home with a romantic movie. Let love come to you. If you have a partner and also a lot of conflict and stress, stop doing what you're doing and see what it's like to just not do anything.

Bless love wherever you see it. Practice opening your heart. Next year at this time, you will be the one walking arm in arm with a wonderful man who adores you. Believe it. You won't need to feel sorry for those you see around you who don't have what you have. You will be teaching them by example, just as those around you with love are teaching you. Let them bless you. They will. And Bless them back. Love is in the air, and if you let it, it will land with you.

Love and Blessings to you all.

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