Many men don't know the difference between chasing and going after what you want, with confidence. Chasing, by definition, is bad. Going after what you want with confidence, is good. On the surface level they are the same, but on a deeper level they are different. The energies are different.

Think of the hunter analogy. A good hunter doesn't suffer from lack of confidence. He sees what he wants and aims to get it (literally). He doesn't supplicate or hope that things work out. He confidently goes after what he wants.

The hunter: "hey...what do you say we grab a drink and get to know each other?"

The chaser: "I think you're beautiful, can I take you out and buy you dinner sometime??"

The mindset behind each is totally different. One comes from a position of power and knowing what you want, and the other from a position of inferiority.

It is the man's role to make the move, attract, display personality, and then invite the woman to join him. Another way to look at it is: The man makes the pitch, and she chooses if she wants to be a part of that. He puts in the work initially, but then makes her work for more of his attention.

Don't chase. Step up to the plate and take initiative, yes, but never

chase. Men do the picking and women do the choosing, but part of the price that a woman pays for being the chooser is that she has to follow the lead of the man she chose.

It is my job as a man to demonstrate value and personality, and have her choose me. I then invite her into my world. There I can give her all the things she's always wanted. But I can only do that on my ship. So much for equality, but in the real world this is how the successful mating dance plays out. Like the saying goes, in a dance two people cannot lead. Evolution and biology don't care about equality or political correctness.

It's like buying and selling. You're the seller and she is the buyer, and part of being the seller is standing by what you sell, even if it takes knocking on a few doors before getting the sale.

Copyright © 2005 Vittorio Norman

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