As the networking site LinkedIn takes off - with over 4.2 million members as of December, 2005 - users are starting to tire of the standard "boilerplate" invitations (the ones that members use when they want to invite their friends to "connect" on LinkedIn). So, to switch up the verbiage a bit and have some fun, here are some customized LinkedIn invitations in the Styles Of...

VALLEY GIRL

I'm like, totally using this LinkedIn thing, and it's like, everyone's doing it and if you're like, not connected, you're like, so not even ANYONE. So I'm all "let's connect," and you like only have to hit this one button and stuff, so like do it, and let's GET TO KNOW SOME PEOPLE!!

THE SOPRANOS

So boss,

You want we should connect, a what? Dis guy, behind da guy, he knows a guy and he wants we should talk to dis guy, in Jersey, so get connected over here and we'll do dis ting. Bada bing, bada boom. Click on the link. Fuhgeddaboutit.

Paulie "Links"

HAIKU

The unconnected person waits for the invite: connection. It's here. Join us!

OLD TESTAMENT

And so it came to pass that the word spread, and the blessings came down upon the people, and spread throughout the nations. And the prophet said, "Let us connect," and one unto the other they connected, they of the first degree and of the second, and lo, all the degrees thereof. And so the people connected, one to another, each according to his needs and his unique selling proposition, and it was good.

MOOD SWING

I can't tell you if you still like me. I know you're busy, so don't be mad at me for asking, but do you HATE ME or what? I'm sorry. It's my fault. I'm such a loser. What is your problem? Why are you such a jerk to me?

Do you want to CONNECT? Only if you want to. Probably you don't. It's okay. You hate me. I can tell. Do you want to connect though? Click on the link. Okay, don't. Just be your arrogant self. D

RISQUE

I saw your profile and I must say, it's spicy...you seem like a person who knows a lot about....life. You're so --- accomplished. You've got that smoky air of success about you. I read your profile over and over and tried to picture your resume, and believe me, I did, and I couldn't sleep afterwards. And people are attracted to you, it's obvious. You've connected with a lot of people, haven't you? There's something dangerous about you. I want to connect with you RIGHT NOW - can you feel it?

MOTHER GOOSE

Higgledy piggledy, my LinkedIn
Bring your whole address book in!
Austin, Boston, Rome, Berlin,
Globally, mobile-ly, my LinkedIn.

MOM

Oh hello dear,

Is this how you do this? Tell me if you get this. Am I doing this right? I want to invite you to - what? This is so complicated. Honey, I just can't keep you with all your fancy websites and gadgets. I have to be honest, the digital camera you bought your father for Christmas in 1999 is still in the box. You're such a bright boy. We're so proud of you, sweetheart. What about that girl you mentioned at Aunt Janet's 80th birthday party, are you still seeing her? I don't mean to pry. There was something I was supposed to ask you - oh yes, do you want to click with me? Clink? Link? Or whatever it's called. Connect. Oh yes, that's it. How silly, to connect with your mother! Do you still listen to Earth, Wind & Fire? You loved them in high school.

Love,

Mom