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First Time Mom Over 35: Finding The Support You Need

All first time expectant and new moms whether they are 22 or 42 underestimate the emotional and physical challenges created by pregnancy and the actual raising of an infant just to age one.

Because we, older moms, have waited so long to give birth we are afraid or ashamed to admit many of our feelings, feelings that are common with pregnancy and motherhood. An older expectant mom may be at her wits end dealing with the discomforts of pregnancy. She wonders how she will survive the remaining months of discomforts.

Or a new over 40 mom may secretly crave for and need time away from her little bundle of joy. In both of these cases, the moms may fear acknowledging these feelings may bring comments like 'you should have thought about that before having a baby at your age.' Other older moms may feel acknowledging these feelings mean they are not grateful for the beautiful gift God has given or that they aren't good mothers. Neither of these statements is true.”

New and expectant moms over 35 and 40 face unique challenges. The medical challenges are most often addressed while overlooking the emotional challenges.

Many of us are caring for aging parents while raising toddlers. We're experiencing postpartum and menopause issues at the same time. Combine all of this with dealing with ex-spouses, blended families, workplace issues and the day to day responsibility of being a new mom and things can get a little overwhelming at times.

Here are 5 ways to rejuvenate an

d find support:

1)Ask your spouse, a friend or relative to watch the baby while you take a 15 minute walk.

2)Read a funny short story or watch a funny video. Studies show that during laughter the body releases endorphins, the body's natural painkiller, which relieves anxiety, tension and stress.

3)Talk to other women who were midlife moms and have raised their children to adulthood. Remember we are not the first generation to have children after 35.

4)Consider enlisting the services of a coach/consultant who specializes in midlife motherhood issues to help you through the most challenging times.

5)Let go of the idea that you can be a perfect mom. Instead move to a higher level in your spirituality through daily prayer and meditation. Get better acquainted with the Creator of the Universe.


Cynthia Wilson James is a childbirth educator, author, a midlife mom of two bubbly toddlers and a stepmom. She gave birth to her first child at 42 and a second child at age 44. She provides private telephone consultations to expectant and new moms over 35 and 40 and women considering late in life motherhood. You can reach her at her website http://www.inseasonmom.org


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