How do you get what you want out of dating without settling?

Are you one of the singles out there who are adamant about a persons weight, height, and or age? Are you rigid when it comes to a persons income, parental status, religious and or political preferences?

Dateless, you assume all the good men and women are taken?

How do you measure up in the deal breaker arena?

It's not about lowering standards it's about being realistic. Up your standards in the areas that matter and become a better person in the process.

Here are some common dating dilemmas and what you can do about them.

Weight Issues Say you meet a man who has all the endearing qualities you like, there is major chemistry, and you are attracted to them but he is slightly over weight.

You can't change a person but you can certainly motivate them.

What to do: Suggest eating out less and start cooking healthy meals together. Most of your dates could consist of hiking, biking and other outdoor activities. Just taking a walk three days a week, and eating healthier food can do wonders for your health. The object is not to lose weight but to be as healthy as you can be. Weight loss is just a side effect.

It is a myth that once a person loses weight they will stray or you won't like them once they are skinny. That is a good reason to focus on inside qualities instead of what is on the outside.

Height Other things that can slide are height. If you are a tall women who likes men that are 6 foot and up, you can you date someone who is 5'10 and get the same effect as someone who is six foot? Height is irrelevant.

What to do: Although it's a woman's nature to be attracted to tall men, you can skip wearing high heels once in awhile and focus on his other qualities especially if he is everything else you have ever dreamed of.

Age Older women usually like men their age or older and men tend to be the opposite.

What to do: Why not do a so called role reversal and date younger men. If men usually go for younger women they should try dating someone who is their own age or older! The outcomes can be pleasantly surprising.

Independence v. Cash Flow You meet a fabulous girl who is everything you want but her income is below average. Generally men want women who are independent and don't expect to lean on a man financially. Men are also led to believe that all women want money so they can be taken care of financially.

Not true.

The money factor has to do with level of commitment and readiness. When a man has his life in order and all his chess pieces are in play and it looks like he is winning the game, only then will he be more inclined for what he doesn't possess yet. A queen.

Women sometimes bypass men who don't have their pawns where the man would like them, or avoid men who are not playing the game of life in the first place.

Money is about remaining competitive in life. Not the be all, end all, surfire road to happiness.

When a man has the majority of his worries aside and the women of his dreams comes into his life, there is no excuse for not getting married if that is what he is looking for. Women know this. They don't want to waste time with someone who will never be ready for marriage because they aren't rich yet. Women certainly don't have time for those who aren't even ready to do what it takes to become financially stable! Impasse!

When all the financial worries o

f a man are minimized that means his chances of being locked and loaded are greater and that is why women seek men who have their finances taken care of.

Men are more predisposed about income but don't want women who come to expect their man will save them financially.

Women should take responsibility of their finances and not think that someone is going to do it for them. Some debt is ok but if it interferes with your life it most likely will impact your partners life too.

Women should consider dating men who are at least ambitious if not financially well off. They might be going to back to school or are in between jobs or better yet starting their own business.

People might have roommates, especially if they are younger, but living situations change. You could end up as their only roommate in the future. In an extreme case your soul mate may be one of their current roommates!

What to do: There is a difference between being cheap and being savvy. Cheap is uncreative and is a flat out "no way in hell " that you can justify paying even if you yourself want an item badly enough.

Be aware of his or her time and when it comes to work or school. They may need to work a spare job on a Saturday night to come up with the phone bill! School can be expensive so book them when they are not in school or have study time.

Cook meals together or find lower priced restaurants. They will be relieved that you mentioned a matinée and snacks in the park compared to a hot new seafood restaurant and martini bar in the middle of downtown. Take the opportunity to use 2-for-1 coupons to try out a new restaurant. Look for yearly publications of coupon books in your area.

Nothing feels worse than to have someone doling out expensive dinners on you and you've no way monetarily to return the favor. Be sensitive to the times when they can't go out. People are embarrassed to say the are flat out broke.

Eventuntually they may save up or make enough money to take you out to a nice treat and money will not be the focus, your happiness will be.

Opportunities In Hiding Keep your mind open to possibilities because you never know where you'll find the love of your life. Expand your dating chances by taking up low-risk candidates. If the two of you end up "just friends" they might introduce you to someone of interest who is a better match.

Don't judge. You'd be surprised how men and more so women will try and set you up with somone they know if things don't work out. Consider it a compliment that you are a great person and have someone looking out for you!

Be on your best behavior, be open and take them up on it!

©Copyright 2006 Jordan Pierce

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