The holidays are supposed to be a time of happiness, peacefulness, happy times with family and friends, right? For millions of people, they are a time for increased stress and tension instead. We are busier than usual, spending more money, eating and drinking more and probably not sleeping as much...all of this can lead to the holiday blues. Here are some suggestions to stay in control and feeling good this holiday season:

1. Financial strains- Forty four percent of Americans feel pressure to spend more than they can afford at holiday time. Discuss spending limits with your family. Make a list of all the people you plan to buy for and how much your budget is- add it up, and lower limits as necessary. Plan quality time together or a special outing rather than buying more gifts. Think creatively and give gifts that money can't buy- photo collections, audio or video tapes, redeemable coupons or home made gifts. Make a tradition to enjoy the activities that are free- make a snowman, go sledding, drive around and check out the lights, window shopping and people watching.

2. Evaluate your expectations- Each season is different and can be enjoyed in its own way. Don't compare this year with "the good ole days", each year is different, and traditions are important, but focus on the traditions you can control. Don't expect to control the behavior of others. Expect some irritations and imperfections, and have a good time in spite of them. Remember, Normal Rockwell families are only two dimensional...

3. Put it into perspective- Remember the reason for the season. It can be depressing to see how an originally spiritual holiday has turned into such a commercialized, expensive time of year. "Take the time and effort to reaffirm what this season really means to you, whether is it about family, community or religion. Go help someone in need, to help yourself reaffirm what it is all about" says stress expert, Robert Sapolsky. Volunteer for those in need, adopt a family, buy toys for tots, and participate in charity events. It will make you feel good to reconnect with the true spi

4. Manage your time- Now, more than ever, is the time to say no and not over commit yourself. Be realistic about what you can and can't do, and don't forget to allow yourself some time to relax and decompress. Make a list and prioritize, delegate activities to other family members, and pare down on activities or events that you and your family can live without this year.

5. Allow yourself to feel- Holidays bring up all sorts of feelings and memories that are less than pleasant. If you have lost a family member, friend, or gone through divorce or separation, this can be an especially hard time of year. All the holiday messaging tells us that this season is for happy couples and families- which only reinforce our loss. Don't try to put on a happy face all the time; you don't have to be joyful, merry and social all season. Each holiday will be another opportunity for you to heal a little more. Allow yourself to feel your emotions, and then think of something you can do to feel better.

6. Make time for you- Self care is critical during this stressful season. Make it a priority to get your sleep, exercise, and down time. Stay on track with sensible eating. Remember that all of the short term stress reducers (overeating, drinking, etc.) will only make you feel worse in the long run.