If we lived in a perfect world, business would be business.

It wouldn't be tainted with destructive competition and the petty conflicts that are so prevalent in everyday transactions. But, as you know, we're far from that ideal.

We have to handle defensive people, who make us defensive, and then who call us, defensive! When we feel burdened by someone's ego, we should to try to ignore the weight of it.

There is one, simple technique that has been working for me: waiting for a short period to respond to the communications of difficult or uninformed people.

Let me give you an example.

I was approached to deliver a speech by a reputable organization that pays its speakers a laughable amount for their professional services. This figure is so low, that it truly amazes me that anyone, other than a stark beginner, would consider accepting it.

As a matter of fact, it is insulting.

Hey there, you might be thinking; shouldn't you be grateful that someone wants to hear you speak?

Absolutely; it is always a compliment, but as you know, compliments won't pay the phone bill.

So, instead of dispatching a quick and efficient email, saying I can't work for such a pittance, I wait until I've dissipated any defensiveness about the offer.

Reflexively, I would say, "Thank you, but that offer falls so far beneath my speaking scale that I can't consider accepting it; but good luck!”

Instead, when I'm calm, after waiting, I'm inclined to say: "Thank y

ou so much for asking me to speak, and while I'd love to accept, the offer falls well beneath my speaking scale. If you can revise your budget, I'd love to do this for you!”

Big difference, right?

This is what, perhaps 24 hours of waiting, can do to temper our communications.

Don't be sucked into making an instant response, simply because email is an instantaneous medium. Take more time, and you'll craft a much better reply, one that is apt to build a relationship, rather than degrade it.

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