I was surprised to get a special delivery letter from Jose Caliente. Jose said that he caught the Vice President sneaking out of a White House conference room before the press corps could get to him. Here is a copy of Jose's transcript:

Vice President: Jose! Can you get me back to my office without getting me seen by those blasted bloodsucking reporters?

Jose: Yes, Mr. Vice President. Just follow Ol' Jose.

Vice President: A secret passageway! I never had the slightest idea it was here.

Jose: I learned about it from a friend that worked here during the Clinton Administration.

Vice President: What was it used for? Never mind. I can guess. Look, there is a perfectly good cigar on the floor.

Jose: I wouldn't pick it up, Mr. Vice President.

Vice President: Wrong door! That goes into a bedroom. Man, look at that picture gallery.

Jose: My friend said that JFK hung out there.

Vice President: Those reporters are nuts. I appreciate you taking me back to my office, Jose.

Jose: Won't you have to face up to them sooner or later?

Vice President: True, Jose. I'm just not sure what to say. Anything I say will be twisted.

Jose: That's right, Mr. Vice President. If you say it was an unfortunate accident they will ask, "Were you drinking?”

Vice President: I don't know who started that. But it is a complication. I think Letterman must have started that. He has that little drinking move.

Jose: The answer is "No!” And make sure you don't elaborate on it.

Vice President: That's good advice, Jose.

Jose: Mr. V

ice President, they will want to know why you were not watching your surroundings. You must say, "I was watching!” Then don't elaborate.

Vice President: That is good advice too, Jose.

Jose: Mr. Vice President, they will ask why you haven't apologized. You must say, "I did apologize.”

Vice President: Wait until I get that jotted down in my notepad, Jose.

Jose: Mr. Vice President, they will want to know that you are sorry. You must say, "Don't I look sorry?” Then you must say, "I must go now. I have an important meeting in Calcutta. My plane is all gassed up.”

Vice President: I guess this ladder goes up into my office.

Jose: Yes! Don't bump your head. It comes up right under your desk.

Vice President: How convenient, Jose. I thank you! How about a hot penny-oil-stock tip, Jose? It can make you rich.

The End

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